While I was gone on a trip, my lovely daughter and her conspiring father hatched a plan to fulfill my daughter’s sudden urge to have a fish tank in her room. Now, it isn’t that I don’t appreciate a well-done fish tank, but I personally want nothing to do with fish tanks. By virtue of one being in my home, I will have to deal with it in some way: physically, logistically, or emotionally. Indeed, the latter has already come into play.
Before my return from my trip, the fish tank had been purchased, set up, and filled with fish…all of whom perished instantly. After doing some homework, said daughter and spouse concluded that the tank would need to filter water for a week before introducing fish. So, Sunday was the day. Daughter and father went out to purchase fish. An excited gal returned with a plecostomus, 7 neon tetras, and a dwarf puffer-fish, already named Bubbles. Bubbles is cute, as fish go. A tiny thing, about 1/2-inch long, mini-version of a puffer fish. Bloated, a big “smile,” and a small, wiggly tail fin. Here’s the problem: BUBBLES IS A MURDERER. Within a couple of hours, two of neon tetras were swimming vertically. Not good. Spouse commented, “Oh, we must have failed to notice that one had a mangled tail fin.” Yeah, that’s it. Must have come that way. Fast forward:
Monday morning comes along, and 6 of the 7 tetras had died by Monday morning, daughter noticed the 7th one being hotly pursued by Bubbles…who was NIPPING AT THE TAIL FIN! Indeed, Bubbles worked under cover of darkness to MURDER HIS TANKMATES! I guess “swimming with the fishes” is no joke with a fish like Bubbles. Seriously, if I ever become a mob boss, I’m naming my henchman Bubbles just for the irony.
Here’s the problem…The Girl thinks having a carniverous fish is cool! Great. Now, the goal appears to be to get another Dwarf Puffer and create an aquatic version of MMA in our tank. What kind of kid have I raised, I ask you? To all her future partners: I’m sorry. I have twisted kids.
P.S. Update: Bubbles ended up “swimming with the fishes” himself while we were away on a family trip. I guess karma even applies to fish.